The 57 Best Conversation Starters You Can Use Anytime, Anywhere
How do you strike up fascinating discussions with everyone you encounter? I'll share some of my best advice for starting engaging conversations with anyone.
Invigorate a dull conversation with a great topic to talk about. I've organized this post according to the various contexts in which you might find yourself having a conversation. These questions are guaranteed to get any two people talking in a way that will leave a lasting impression on both of them.
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How well do you handle casual conversation? Do you feel awkward and self-conscious when you don't know what to say? The skills you'll learn in our Conversation Mastery Course will allow you to hold compelling conversations with anyone, anywhere, and at any time.
Let's kick this conversation off with some great icebreakers. These are wonderful conversation starters, whether you're meeting someone for the first time or catching up with an old friend. They're also much more engaging than the usual "Where are you from?" What do you do? Those are incredibly mundane, Make use of these instead
- Explain yourself to me. This is fantastic because it opens the floor for the other person to share something meaningful with you. They can share information about their work with you if they want to. They can share stories about their kids with you if they want to. Also, it's a fantastic way to find out exactly what's on someone's mind right now.
- Doing anything interesting recently? What I propose instead of asking, "What do you do?" When you ask someone if they have any interesting projects going on, they are more likely to share positive details about their life with you rather than just giving you a mundane update.
- Tell me about yourself. You never know what exciting thing someone might tell you when you ask them about themselves, so this is an interesting conversation starter.
- What is the current focus of your creative energy? This is a top pick of mine. You never know who has a hidden second job. This is a great question to ask someone you have met in a professional setting but want to learn more about their background and interests.
- How did you come to know the host? This one can be tailored to suit any occasion. You might hit it off at a party if you both know the host. Alter it to "How long have you been a part of this organization?" if you're at a professional or networking event. ”
- Tell me about the best part of your day. An attractive substitute for "how are you?" in addition to receiving more intriguing responses
- Where did you spend the most time this week? This is a fantastic alternative to the usual "how are you?" and "How are things going Instead of giving a stock response like "Fine" or "Good," people are more likely to share a heartwarming anecdote. ”
- Is this the first time you've heard of this happening? This one is easily adaptable for everything from birthday parties (did you come last year?) to weddings. ) to business networking gatherings (how often do you attend? )
- Tell me about the best and worst parts of your day so far. If you have a chatterbox, this one is for you. Extroverts enjoy being asked questions that encourage them to reflect and elaborate. People who thrive in social situations are drawn to this inquiry.
- Is life hectic right now? I try to avoid starting conversations with "Are you busy?" but it's a good way to get people talking if they seem disinterested or distracted. Recognizing their busy schedule can be a great way to get their attention.
- Just how do you like that drink, appetizer, painting, or game? Asking what someone is holding or doing is a great context clue. Inquire as to what they think of their bottle of wine. Get their opinion on the piece of art they're looking at. Inquire as to the quality of the meal. These are great conversation starters.
- Having fun Finding someone who is also alone but seems to be having a good time is a great way to ease into a cold approach. When sitting at a table or standing at the bar, it's natural to turn to the person next to you and inquire, "Having a good time?" , "Have fun," or "Relish it." It's a more pleasant introduction than, "How are you? ”
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Those are my twelve top-notch introductions. How about we get more in depth The following set of questions and comments are intended to keep the conversation going.
- How will you be spending your weekend? When was the last time you had an uncomfortable silence in a conversation? This topic-starter is always appreciated. The question can be altered to "Did you do anything fun this past weekend?" if it is posed on a Monday or Tuesday. I also like to ask, "What do you like to do on the weekends?" ”
- Which local eateries do you recommend the most? Almost always, I rely on the advice of friends and family. They are a wonderful way to start a discussion. Why Everywhere I go, I hear wonderful advice. You can inquire about their background if they are new to the area and don't know the answer. Win-win
- Following the latest __sport, tv show, or news__ If you and your partner both like to keep up with current events and sports scores, you might want to see if they do, too. If so, that's great because you two have a lot in common. In any case, you can inform them.
- I was wondering if you could suggest any one-of-a-kind drinks, snacks, or sweets. Asking other patrons for suggestions on what to order or pick up from the buffet is another fantastic option. You can go out to dinner with them if they haven't eaten yet.
- I can't decide what to order, everything looks so delicious! I need to know your thoughts. What else have you tried? Asking for suggestions on what to eat is a form of recommendation. You can get recommendations from anyone at the bar, even at networking events.
- What a stunning, hip, ugly, or bizarre setting. Is this your first time here? The one thing you can count on no matter where you go is context. There is always something interesting to discuss and inquire about, whether you're in a house, a restaurant, or a ballroom.
- Have you seen that ____ video that went viral on YouTube? I couldn't escape it on any of my networks today. Bring up that amazing video you just watched. You can have a good time with them if they have seen it. If they haven't seen it yet, you can show
- Do you want some coffee or something to drink? I'm going to make some now. This is great because it can be used to speak to a large audience, such as your coworkers on the first day of a new job or the attendees of a conference. As a social experiment, inviting others to join you on your coffee run can be a great way to break the ice and start a conversation.
If you're not sure what to talk about or feel uncomfortable asking personal questions right away, look around you. Remark on the refreshments Inquire about the place or setting. Questions about the individual's favorite sports team or viral video on YouTube are also fair game.
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All right, time for some serious small talk!
So, you've been talking to this person for a while, or you've seen this friend frequently, and you feel like you need MORE to talk about. These are the topics I like to discuss with others. In my book, Captivate, I describe a three-stage process for every interaction. First impressions are formed in the first few minutes of meeting someone. The first five hours are when you meet for coffee, begin working together, or begin dating. Last but not least, the first five days are when you meet your future best friends, business partners, and coworkers. You can use these questions to bridge the gap between the first five hours and the first five days.
- To what fictional character in literature, film, or television do you most relate? Why This works wonderfully after a discussion of a specific actor, author, or film. What a person identifies with most in a fictional character can reveal about them.
- Which of these careers did you envision yourself doing as a kid? Does any of that still hold water? This is one of my favorite follow-up questions after a discussion of someone's upbringing or childhood. It's also a good starting point for a discussion about how closely their current work resembles their ideal job.
- Describe the thing you fear most. This is some serious stuff, but it's fantastic. It's guaranteed to start a lively debate.
- Let's talk about some regrets: You can learn a lot about a person and their history from the things they regret discussing. If you're serious about getting to know someone, this is the question to ask.
- Who do you look up to and why? It's possible to ask someone about their role model if you're discussing an inspiring person like a boss, an author, or a celebrity. The people who motivate you most can be discussed in this way.
In short, don't be afraid to take risks. Deep questions If you're not genuine, most of your interactions will be superficial. It's nice to have a conversation about something other than trivia. Some of those questions may be a bit bold, but if the conversation is going well, you should definitely try them out. What you may discover is a mystery.
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Successful people in the workplace have mastered the art of being both efficient and personable. The question is, how can you do this If you want to have meaningful exchanges with your coworkers, you need to know how to start a conversation. All the ideas I've given so far for striking up chats with coworkers are fantastic, but here are a few more to mull over.
- Is there a good cause that you believe in? At times, it can seem like all you do is talk about work. The answer to this question can shed light on a person's interests outside of the workplace. It's a good idea to have your favorite charity in mind before you ask for money.
- I'm worried about the ____. Is this something you've tried before? By opening up to others, you can make a positive impression and develop deeper relationships. This is a great way to strike up a conversation with a coworker at work and pick their brain about how to handle a particular situation, such as learning new software or dealing with an annoying client.
- If you had to pick one perk of working here, what would it be? If you are starting a new job, this will be especially helpful. This is great if a new team member has just joined and you want to tell them about your most treasured possession.
Do you know any secrets about working at this company? With this icebreaker, you never know what you're going to hear. This is a good one. I am always interested in hearing insider secrets and recommendations.
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You've found a nice table, ordered a drink, and settled in. You're good at chatting up a potential date, but are you stumped for first-date conversation topics? The best questions to ask on a date are those that reveal something about the other person's character or life experience.
- When you were a kid, what did you want to be when you grew up? Perhaps they fancied the life of an astronaut or a veterinarian. You may also follow up with further inquiries. Do they seem to care about space research anymore? What altered as they matured Do they find joy in their current position? Using this question as a conversation starter can also lead to discussions about career aspirations and advancement.
- Skydiving, bungee jumping, or scuba diving—which would you choose if you could only do one? Find out if your prospective partner is a risk-taker with this exciting first-date inquiry. It's possible that they've already attempted at least one of these measures. The mere thought of any of them could be terrifying to them. And here's some good news if you're the daring type: people who take risks are often viewed as more desirable. You'll learn a lot about their risk-taking mindset from either response.
- Give me the gist of who you are and what I need to know about you. The goal of a first date is to get to know each other on a deeper level. You're looking for signs that this person is a good match for you and that you're a good match for them. You can cut right to the chase with this question.
- What did you envision your life to be like when you were a kid? A Trojan Horse, or something light and whimsical, is the perfect conversation starter for a first date because it provides a harmless pretext for talking about your hopes and dreams and, by extension, can lead to questions about your date's background, education, and interests.
- Tell me about the member of your family most like you. Do they have a special relationship with their mother, father, or great-aunt? Inquiring about their family life and giving them a chance to introduce themselves in a few words is a win-win. They might compare themselves to their godfather because of their shared love of literature, or to their brother because of their shared rough sense of humor. If you look at how they interact with other significant people in their lives, you can get a sense of what kind of relationship they might want to have with you.
On a date, you can choose from a wide variety of interesting topics to discuss. If you need more firepower, check out our post specifically devoted to first date questions.
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"No problem, I can handle babysitting for the evening." The words come out before you can stop them, and then you're stuck with a kid you don't really know. Does Batman Still Have It? Do Dinosaurs Is the word "cool" even still in vogue?
You can relax; we've got your back. Use these questions as conversation starters with kids and you'll never be at a loss for words. Even if it feels strange, keep in mind that conversing back and forth with kids is beneficial to their cognitive growth.
- Do you believe other planets are inhabited by alien life? There's no wrong way to answer this one, and the conversation will be fantastic either way. If they say no, inquire as to why, and if they say yes, have them imagine what life could be like on another planet. The depth and originality of children's responses often shock adults.
- What kind of animal would you be if you were one? Why A kid can tell you a lot about who they are by answering these questions. They may find a connection with a dog because of their shared love of exercise and playfulness, or with a fish because of their shared passion for water. You should also think about what you They will most likely ask you again, so prepare a solid response.
- What kind of home do you envision yourself in when you're an adult? If you're tired of the "what do you want to be when you grow up" cliché, this is a fresh approach. " Is there a Many mature people will have that tedious question. Instead, inquire as to the design of their future home. Do they yearn for a home with a swimming pool, a backyard teeming with jungle plants, and a private slide leading directly into the family room? Inspire them to think outside the box The article could also provide some amusing suggestions for interior design.
- What would happen if a robot and a dinosaur got into a fight? Things like whether or not there are toys in the room or a superhero depicted on the person's clothing can serve as hints. Make a question out of this, and the more absurd the better. They'll be laughing so hard that they'll think you're the coolest adult ever.
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Useful in (almost) any of the aforementioned contexts, the sole function of humorous conversation starters is to induce laughter.
One of these humorous conversation starters is sure to make you the center of attention at your next social gathering.
- Describe the worst fashion faux pas you ever made. There are certain ensembles from one's past that, at the time, seemed like a good idea. Using this topic of conversation, you can learn more about the people in your life and their backgrounds before you even met them. It will probably come with some fascinating anecdotes about the owner's time spent in the early 2000s emo or the 1960s mod scene. This hilarious icebreaker is multigenerational in its utility, as it can bring the older guests to the forefront by bringing up embarrassing fashion blunders from their youth.
- During your school years or as a child, what was the most humiliating thing you did? This icebreaker is most effective when used in a group setting, where individuals can hear the experiences of others and be inspired to share their own. It may be worthwhile to break out this conversation starter after a particularly stressful day at the office, as reminiscing about happier times tends to have a calming effect.
- What song would you use as the theme for a reality show about your life? It's a fun way to avoid any stilted or boring conversations about specific bands, and it puts an end to any pretentious "indier-than-thou" talk. Bring it to life in the style of a sitcom from the 1990s by asking people questions about the cheesy clips that could accompany their montage (bonus points if you can get your friends to suggest a theme song for your show).
- If a zombie apocalypse were to occur, what would you do? When asked about their secret hideouts or elaborate escape plans, people tend to go into surprising amounts of detail. Roaring laughter may ensue as you ridicule each other's end-of-the-world preparations.
Although it may seem counterintuitive, it's best to keep things casual and natural, even after learning some great conversation starters. Put these concepts away for when the conversation slows down or there's an awkward pause; don't force them into a discussion that's already going in a challenging direction. Be authentic, show interest in others, and make an effort to find out more about them, and good things will happen.
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Time is another tool for coming up with engaging conversation starters. Having one of these on hand is a huge time saver. I like to have a good time and lighten the mood by talking about upcoming holidays and other events. Here is a list of topics to discuss based on the calendar. Keep in mind that these also provide room for innovation. Be sure to inquire about any upcoming celebrations.
- January: What do you plan to do differently this year?
- Do you typically observe Valentine's Day in February? Is it a genuine or made-up celebration in your opinion?
- I went to the hippest Irish pub in town last St. Day of St. Patrick Putting together any exciting plans for it ”
- Is it still April if you still believe in the Easter Bunny?
- What fourth of July fireworks show did you enjoy the most and why?
- October: What was your favorite Halloween costume growing up? Alternatively, do you enjoy scary rides and/or haunted houses?
- What's your go-to dish for Thanksgiving?
- What are some of your favorite holiday traditions this month of December?
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When I want to start a conversation about a birthday, whether it's someone's own or someone else's, I always ask the following questions:
- What was the most memorable part of the past year for you, the birthday person? Or, "What do you hope to accomplish in the coming year? ”
- I asked my birthday party guests, "How do you normally celebrate your birthday?" Or, "What was your most memorable birthday?" ”
- Question for the rest of you: "What was the best (or worst) birthday present you ever received?" This is a fun activity for the family to do after dinner. The responses never fail to make us laugh.
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Having meaningful conversations on Tinder can be difficult, but it's not impossible. Pick-up lines aren't always the best way to start a conversation on Tinder or other dating apps. You should search instead for a double-duty opener. You want to let the other person know that you read their profile and found something interesting there, and you also want to introduce yourself. It's a win-win situation, and once you've established that, the conversation will progress more easily.
Pick one of these engaging conversation starters to use on Tinder, and tweak it to reflect your unique style. Simply complete the following sentence:
- Assume the ___ Me too Please elaborate On Tinder, a great conversation starter is anything that has any resemblance to the person you're interested in. Those who are similar to us are the best This is what psychologists call the "similarity-attraction effect." Find the similarity, fill in the blank, and then probe for clarification.
- What are you, a _______? That's incredibly intriguing to me. Describe the part of your job that you enjoy the most. People are always eager to hear themselves talk. Remember this as you begin your online chats. If you ask a question, people are more likely to answer you. Obviously, you'll want to tailor this conversation starter to the person you're talking to.
- If it's not too forward, I was wondering if you wanted to go with me to the new ____ that's opening up downtown next week. This conversation starter is direct and communicates your sincere desire to meet in person and pursue a meaningful relationship. Maintain a conversational tone and a friendly demeanor, and you'll do great.
- How's your week/weekend been so far? This one's nice and easy, but it can lead to all sorts of interesting conversations, like hearing about their week of incredible sales or their weekend spent working. It's also crucial to provide them with information on which to comment.
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Do the following inquiries bore you to death:
- The question "How are you doing ”
- The Weather Today ”
- "This area's traffic is really bad, huh ”
These questions used to make me nervous. No need, though, to panic. These questions used to bore me to tears, but I learned a magic trick that has made them into some of my favorite conversation starters. To see how, please view my video below:
If you lack the nerve to skip the dull topics and jump straight to the interesting ones, you can use any of these as conversation starters. The vast majority of people will be relieved for you to initiate and sustain conversation anyway. Keep in mind that you should also have YOUR responses to these questions prepared. You can make someone more at ease if they don't know the answer by giving it for them. Good luck Ready for our next conversation with you!
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